How to Make Gift Giving Season Meaningful for Kids

The holiday season is here—twinkly lights are glowing, cookies are baking, and the delivery driver might know your dog’s name by now. But if you’ve ever watched your child rip open a present only to say, “Oh… socks,” you also know that this season isn’t all magic. Along with excitement comes disappointment, meltdowns, and big emotions.

As a pediatrician, I see this chaos as something different: an opportunity to teach emotional skills that stick for life—not through lectures, but through real-life moments kids can really feel. Here’s how to make the most of them.

Let Kids Choose Gifts to Give

Giving is where the real magic lies. And what’s amazing is that this “magic” isn’t just a feeling—it’s science. Studies show that generosity activates the same reward centers in the brain as receiving a gift, releasing feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. Even toddlers light up emotionally when they share a snack or offer a toy to a friend—it’s one of the earliest signs of empathy.

Let your kids take part in choosing gifts for others, even if it takes extra time. Research shows that children who pick something they value become more generous later on than kids who simply hand over a pre-selected present. Choosing the gift helps children see themselves as kind and capable—shaping an identity rooted in compassion rather than consumption.

Handmade gifts matter, too. When kids create something—a scribbled card or lopsided ornament—their brains connect effort with emotional reward. This builds intrinsic motivation: kids give because it feels good, not because they’ve been told they should. And it turns out recipients feel the difference—sentimental gifts are remembered more fondly than expensive or trendy ones.

Teach That a “Gift Is a Thought”

By elementary school, kids start focusing more on the object itself than the intention behind it. So, when disappointment pops up (“Clothes? Really?”), gently reframe the moment:
“That gift is a thought—someone chose it thinking about you.”

This helps kids learn to recognize love behind the wrapping paper and practice responding with gratitude, even when a present misses the mark.

Choose Experiences Over Stuff

Suggest gifts like baking cookies with Grandma, planning a neighborhood bike ride, or taking a nature hike together. When kids give experiences, they aren’t just giving a “present,” they’re creating a memory. That cookie-baking afternoon that ends in laughter over burned batches? Or the hike where Grandma spotted a rainbow? Those moments become family stories that get told again and again. 

Research shows that people remember experiences more than things, because shared moments create emotional connection (not just clutter!) And experiences teach kids that joy comes from time together, not just what’s under the tree. The emotional memories they create often last much longer — and feel much more meaningful — than the latest toy or gadget ever could.

Make Reflection Your Final Tradition

When the holidays wind down, pause to reflect together:

• “What was your favorite part of giving this year?”
• “How did it feel to watch someone open your gift?”

Talking about these moments helps kids “save” the emotional memory of kindness—making generosity more likely to become a lasting habit.

Gift-giving is about much more than toys—it’s about connection, empathy, and learning what truly brings joy.  The truth is this: when kids learn that giving feels good, they don’t just grow up happier—they grow up kinder.

Listen to the full episode below!