Naked Curiosity: How to Talk to Kids About Private Parts Without Freaking Out - Normal Child Sexual Behaviors

If you’ve found your child naked with another child or heard they were touching someone at school, your heart might be racing—but take a breath. You can handle this. Believe it or not, these types of behaviors are actually quite common at various stages of development. Kids are naturally curious about their bodies and the bodies of others. These moments, while alarming to us as adults, are often a normal part of growing up—and they’re an opportunity to have an open, honest conversation with your child about bodies, boundaries, and respect. When handled calmly, these talks help your child feel safe, respected, and confident in their own skin.

So where do you start? Right here—with calm conversations, real language, and zero shame.

Normalize Curiosity

It’s totally normal for young kids to explore their bodies or even show curiosity about other children’s. It doesn’t mean something is wrong. You might find your toddler rubbing their genitals during nap time, or your preschooler asking, “Why doesn’t she have a penis?”

These moments are great teaching opportunities. You can say something simple like, “That’s called a vulva, and everyone’s body is a little different,” or “That’s something we do in private, not in front of other people.”

Stay calm, even if you’re caught off guard. Your reaction teaches your child whether this topic is safe to bring up with you again.

Use the Right Words

Teach your child the correct anatomical names: penis, vulva, nipples, testicles, etc. Not only does this give them accurate information, but research shows that kids who know the right words are more likely to report if something inappropriate happens. Avoid cutesy or silly names—those can confuse kids or make them think these parts are too embarrassing to talk about.

Teach Body Autonomy

One of the most important messages you can give your child is this: You are the boss of your body. That means they don’t have to hug or kiss anyone, even family members, if they don’t want to. It also means they can say no to being touched in any way that makes them uncomfortable.

You might say:

“You get to decide who touches your body and when. Even grownups.”

Teaching this helps protect children from inappropriate touch—especially from adults in positions of authority, like teachers or coaches.

Keep the Conversation Going

As your child grows, keep the door open. Normalize talking about crushes, puberty, privacy, and yes, masturbation. What feels like an awkward conversation now is a foundation for trust later.

And if your child ever comes to you with a worry, question, or story that makes your heart race—pause, take a breath, and say:

“I’m so glad you told me. Let’s figure it out together.”

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be their safe place.

Want more tips on what’s normal and what’s not? Listen to my full podcast episode featuring pediatrician and child abuse specialist Dr. Shalon Nienow. We break down what behaviors are developmentally appropriate—and when to worry. <Link at bottom of page>