| The holiday season is here—twinkly lights are glowing, cookies are baking, and the delivery driver might know your dog’s name by now. But if you’ve ever watched your child rip open a present only to say, “Oh… socks,” you know the season isn't all magic. Along with excitement come disappointment, jealousy, and some pretty big emotions. As a pediatrician, I see gift-giving season as something more: a chance to teach kids kindness, empathy, and gratitude. And the best part? We can teach these skills without lectures, using the gifts we're already giving and receiving. Here are five ways to turn gift season into lessons that last long after the wrapping paper is gone. 1. Let Kids Choose Gifts for OthersGiving feels good—and that's science! Studies show that generosity activates parts of the brain involved in pleasure and reward. Even toddlers can experience more happiness giving away a treat than receiving one. Let your kids choose gifts for family and friends, even if it takes extra time. Ask, "What does Grandpa love to do?" or "What would make your sister smile?" When kids think about what someone else might enjoy, they're practicing empathy. And when they get to make the choice themselves, they begin to see themselves as kind and generous people.
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2. Encourage Homemade Gifts
A scribbled card or lopsided ornament might not look impressive, but it can mean more than an expensive present.
When children spend time creating something for someone else, they learn that kindness takes thought and effort, not money. And the pride they feel when someone loves their creation can motivate them to give again.
So break out the crayons, bake cookies, or make a photo album. Let your child do as much of the work as possible—even if the finished product isn't exactly Pinterest-worthy.
3. Teach Kids That "A Gift Is a Thought"
When a child opens a gift and announces, "I already have this!" it's tempting to disappear behind the Christmas tree.
But children are still learning the unwritten rules of gift-giving. They may not understand that a gift represents someone's care, even when the present itself misses the mark.
Teach them this simple phrase: "A gift is a thought."
Explain that someone spent time thinking about them and choosing something they hoped they'd enjoy. Help kids practice thanking the giver for that thought, without pretending to love something they don't.
That's how we teach gratitude and kindness together.
4. Give Experiences Instead of Things
What if your child gave Grandma an afternoon baking cookies together instead of another coffee mug?
Research suggests that gifts of experiences can strengthen relationships because they create shared memories.
Help your child plan a picnic, a bike ride, or a special movie night for someone they love. Let them make an invitation or wrap a homemade ticket.
These gifts teach children that their time and attention are valuable. And those shared moments often become family stories that get told for years.
5. Help Kids Notice the Joy They Create
Here's something surprising: Research suggests that people often underestimate how happy their small acts of kindness make others.
After your child gives a gift, ask, "Did you see Grandma smile when she opened your card?" or "How did you feel when your friend loved the bracelet you made?"
These simple questions help kids connect their actions with someone else's happiness. They learn that what they do matters—and that kindness can spread beyond themselves.
When the holidays wind down, ask your children what they enjoyed most about giving. You might be surprised by their answers.
The best gifts aren't always wrapped in paper. They're the lessons in kindness, empathy, and connection that our children carry with them long after the holidays are over.